I’ve generally been okay since the move, I think. It’s been tough for me, and there have been a lot of nights where I’ve gone to bed thinking I can’t do this. “This” such as learn this insipid city, be awkward with people on a daily (almost hourly) basis, work at a really brisk, almost thoughtless pace. I never feel like I’m doing most things the right way. I hate asking questions or depending on people because it feels like they think I’m an idiot. Hapless and stupid. And that, above all things, is my biggest insecurity. I’m not an idiot, I’m just not from here. I’m learning and feel like I’m sinking almost every day I’m in New York. And I can’t communicate that to people effectively. And I’m afraid to even try without turning it into a joke or just something to say in passing, because I feel people have no… empathy, I guess. It’s tough. That’s all. I miss driving by large fields of green and traveling down the gulf coast and feeling like I have a sense of belonging. And it’s only been a month. Hah.